Mary Queen of Scotch

Mary was an only child, born on the island of Inchmickery, just north of Edinburgh, in the Firth of Forth of Scotland; her isolated early years on the island led to flights of fancy and delusions of royal descent. Her parents immigrated to the United States when Mary was a small child; they both died of cholera in New York’s Five Points slum a few years later. To fund her expensive Scotch drinking habit, she began dancing and singing in dance halls for tips. She did neither very well, but her enthusiasm made up for her lack of natural talent. As she got older, she drifted farther and farther West, ending up trying to herd cats…errr, keep the Delano Dollies in line. Literally. It takes a LOT of Scotch to do that!